Okay Folks, It’s The First Annual Franklin Park Zoo Awards!

There we are, the Limejuiceboy and Cap’n Blackjack, on assignment at Boston’s Franklin Park Zoo for you, our loyal ape-obsessed readers. Because getting to know monkeys means getting to meet monkeys.

And we were most definitely up for the challenge.

We saw birds.  We saw giant cats.  We saw prairie dogs, rabbits, and bats!  And, of course, we saw monkeys.  If we could have reached through the glass to give them ribbons, we would have, but since we couldn’t without creating a tsunami of simian survival, I give you this:

The First Annual Franklin Park Zoo Awards!

A Zookeeper’s Tale.

Paul steered his faded light blue ’49 Harvester KB-2 pickup truck down the slithering backroad he took most mornings. The vibrant colors of dead leaves drying from the previous nights rainstorm scooped across the pavement behind Paul’s tires. It was a gorgeous early October morning, warm enough for Paul to consider wearing his t-shirt. But he decided against it.

Chimps Ahoy is Going to the Zoo! Send Us Your Questions!

Yep, you read that right.  The Limejuiceboy, Admiral Ape, and I are headed to the zoo this weekend to get some much-needed primate face time.  The Franklin Park Zoo in Boston, Massachusetts is our destination where gorillas are the name of the game.  According to the zoo’s website:

Visitors will not want to miss the indoor gorilla exhibit – the most innovative and intimate indoor gorilla exhibit in the world.

Getting intimate with gorillas?  Sign.  Me.  Up!

Gross

But those of us at Chimps Ahoy need help from you, our loyal, sexy readers.  We need questions!  Questions about monkeys, gorillas, and primates to ask the zoo’s friendly zookeepers.

Are you interested in the love lives of gorillas?  How about their bowel movements?  Or are other monkeys and their poo-flinging more your speed?  Let us know!  We’ll get the answers you’re craving.  Just drop us a comment below!

–Cap’n Blackjack

King Kong Lives! On Broadway?

Like television and film, it appears that Broadway has now given up on financing new and fresh ideas for the safety and security of known properties, fearful of investing a large sum of money on the unknown.   It’s a disturbing trend.  For every Inception we get about twelve crappy, lowest common denominator reboots, like the upcoming Smurfs and Yogi Bear movies.  For every Cats we get a Monty Python musical and even a Spiderman musical (with songs by freaking Bono for Christ’s sake). 

And now it seems King Kong is getting the stage treatment. 

Mental Note: Don’t Look at Gorilla Porn

Thirty-two year old John Ridley of England is learning that lesson after going to court for having over 79,000 indecent pictures on his computer, including (you guessed it!)…

Gorilla porn.

Here’s how the Northampton Chronicle described the photo:

“an extreme pornographic image which portrayed in an explicit and realistic way a person performing an act of intercourse with a live gorilla”

Yuck.  And the other pictures he had were even worse if you can believe it.  So, instead of more nasty details, let’s just go over the lessons learned here:

1. Don’t look at gorilla porn
2. Don’t make gorilla porn, and most importantly…
3. Don’t (DON’T!) have sex with a gorilla.

That is all.

–Cap’n Blackjack in the Mist

Related Article: Man Appears in Court to Face ‘Gorilla Porn’ Charge

50 Foot Gorilla Returns Home to Canadian Town

Enzo Milia hadn’t seen his fifty foot gorilla since the night of April 30, 2008.  Good friend Bob Hewitt said it was like “losing a family member.”  And the entire town of Squamish, British Columbia was left deflated.

That was until this past weekend when the giant was found.