Science Fights Back! South African Drunk Monkey Reports Untrue Say Researchers

Does this monkey look drunk to you?

The baboon problem in Cape Town, South Africa is gaining worldwide notoriety, thanks mostly to a BBC article last week, and maybe possibly with some help from us here at Chimps Ahoy.

The BBC article (regurgitated here by us) alleged that many of the baboons running amok were in fact intoxicated by the sauvignon blanc grapes they were stealing from local wine orchards.  It was a great report (who doesn’t like a drunk monkey?), but science has stepped in to say…

Not so fast!

Rude Boy: South Africa’s Baddest Baboon

That’s Rude Boy.  And he’s…BAD ASS.

In Simon’s Town, South Africa, Rude Boy knows what he wants and he knows how to get it.  Check it out.  He’s robbing cops, yo!

Rude Boy pounced on municipal police officer Leon McDuling three weeks ago as he emerged from the supermarket.

The baboon relieved the officer of a packet of crisps, a cauliflower and butternut.

“I came out of the shop and my car was parked across the road. He came from the side, sat in front of me and growled. I thought, ‘I can’t turn around and show him my back, he would jump on me.’ I couldn’t go forwards. I just took the bag and threw it aside; he grabbed it and went to sit under a tree and eat. I was robbed!” said McDuling.

You know, I had a lot of preconceived notions about South Africa, not all of them pretty, but one certainly was not the rampant popularity of cauliflower and butternut amongst cops.  Still, can’t blame the guy.  If Rude Boy took a squat in front of me and growled, I’d toss him my veggies too.  But that’s not all Rude Boy’s been up to.  He steals bananas.  To which we say…

Of course he does.

“Nine out of 10 times he gets his bananas. He is very clever; often we have one of the staff standing at the door, but how long can you stand there?

“As soon as you go inside, he just knows. He’ll run past customers coming to the shop, come in and get his bananas. He knows the drill,” said Oosthuizen.

Man, just once I’d love to see a baboon run into Shaw’s and swipe some bananas and possibly a Twilight: New Moon-themed prepaid gift card.  I could tell my grandkids about that.

Still, this is just another example of the large baboon problem South Africa has seen (as already reported here on Chimps Ahoy).  As you can imagine it’s getting rather testy between those that want to protect their property and those who want to protect the baboons.  I think you know what side we fall on.

Va va baboon!

–Cap’n Blackjack

Related Article: Rude Boy Lives Up To His Name

“Where there’s a mountain, there’s a baboon.” Drunk baboons plague Cape Point!

Nice and ripe.

Everybody likes to have a good time, right? And sometimes those good times involve a little bit of imbibing. And sometimes it’s not just humans doing the drinking and letting loose. Baboons of South Africa have taken a shine to vineyard grapes, specifically the sauvignon blanc grapes.

delicious

But not everything is a barrel of monkeys for the human residents of Cape Point:

Last week, a 12 year old boy was left traumatized after confronting a troop who had broken into his family home.

Hearing noises from the kitchen, he went to investigate and found the beasts ransacking cupboards. When the child fled upstairs to find his babysitter, three males gave chase and surrounded him as he made a tearful phone call to his mother, while the animals pelted him with fruit.

“When he called me he was terrified. They had him surrounded,” said the Constantia housewife, who did not wish to be identified.

I feel bad for laughing but you have to admit, the image of a little boy being chased upstairs by baboons which then proceed to throw fruit at him? That’s pretty close to comedic gold!

At least it was only fruit.

Anyway, things can get a bit more destructive as the baboons have killed livestock and ruined property. Authorities have implemented a “three strikes and you’re out” policy. After putting tags on troublesome baboons, if they continue their disruptive behaviour they are humanly destroyed. At least one baboon met this fate.

If only we could all share a glass or two of wine in harmony.

Sigh…

-Limejuiceboy

Related Article:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/southafrica/7969313/Drunk-baboons-plague-Cape-Towns-exclusive-suburbs.html