Japan on High Alert! Mischievous Monkey in Mishima Munches Man Meat (Legs Mostly)

I think we all can agree that Japan is a magical place.  From the majestic peak of Mount Fuji to the peaceful backyard coy pond, everything about the country just feels like another world, so different from the parking lots and roadside chapels of America.  But what makes Japan truly magical, for me at least, is the monkeys. 

So magical

Monkeys, macaques specifically (as seen above), are some of the most common wild animals in Japan.  Reaching nearly three feet in height when on their hind legs, macaques have long been a rural nuisance, stealing groceries and crops.  But now it seems one particular monkey has developed a taste for human flesh! 

Vlah!

Almost 60 people have been bitten by the nefarious ne’er-do-well in the past few weeks and the towns of Mishima and Susono have had enough.  Referred to as the “biting monkey” on the Mishima website, townsfolk are now on full alert, reporting locations of recent attacks and keeping doors and windows shut.  130 of them, armed with nets, tranquilizer guns, and the like recently tried to hunt down and capture (at least I hope capture) the leg-chomping marauder.  And I say… 

How awesome is that?  Biting monkeys?  Town-wide monkey hunts?  Sushi?  If I wasn’t already so fat, lazy, and stupid (i.e. American) I’d be over there in a flash!  The best news of all is that the monkey hasn’t been sighted in days, possibly retreating to the wilderness to plan another man-biting excursion.  Just thinking of him, perched in a tree plotting his inevitable return with tented furry monkey fingers, brings a wide smile to my face. 

So, America, get your act together.  Your deer, bears, and puffins just aren’t cutting it. 

Stupid puffin

Then again, you do have the Sasquatch, but more on that guy in the coming days… 

You'll never find me, Chimps Ahoy!

Stay tuned!

 –Cap’n Blackjack 

Related articles: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hSzMKp8_nIxzd36aGeo-O7Fy7yyAD9HT2NDG0

Tags: japan, macaque, monkey news, mount fuji, vampire